Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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