I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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