guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if only i could text you this smell
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize