Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Randomize
