IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
