actually, I'm a sock model
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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