you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
