so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
