I think my vagina is haunted
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
