You're my little dorito
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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