what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
