at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
