if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
