I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
