The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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