Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
