Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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