plz talk dirty to me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
