wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
