I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
