Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
