Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
