great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
