so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
