The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
