Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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