Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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