ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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