the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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