yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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