Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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