My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
