i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
