The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
