Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
