He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
