Whod you bang
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Still dying that you shit outside
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
