You work out of a Hotel?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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