Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
