jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
