She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
