By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
