Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
