I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
