you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
