i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
