u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
