dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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