im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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