Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
