Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
