I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
